Words cannot express how much grief I have felt in the last couple of weeks. My cat Joey passed away unexpectedly and I have been missing him every day ever since. I have shed so many tears and my heart aches just thinking about the fact that I will never get to hold him again. Joey was only 2.5 years old and he was my first real pet and I truly believe that I have never loved anything as much as I loved him. Everyday I looked forward to coming home because I knew he would welcome and cuddle me when I arrived. Throughout the day I would check the cat cam and see what he was up to; usually he would just sleep on his favorite chair but it brought me a sense of comfort just watching him when I was sitting at my desk at the office. I miss his little face and his little paws. I miss everything about him. I am not exaggerating when I say this, but Joey was the love of my life.

To make Joey happy I thought I would adopt a new cat so I got Cody, a sweet male Ragdoll kitten. Prior to that Joey got vaccinated, the vet assumed this might have harmed his immune system and that’s why he ended up passing away. Cody and Joey got along fine pretty quickly. I thought I made the right decision and that Joey would enjoy having company while I am gone all day, and especially when I am on vacation (even though that didn’t happen that often).

One evening, about a month after Cody’s arrival, Joey started throwing up white slime. It happened a couple of times and I started to get worried. It was a Saturday and I tried calling the emergency vet a couple of times and after what felt like the 50th time they finally picked up. I still blame myself for waiting around 3 hours before deciding to go to the emergency vet in the middle of the night. I drove there worried and scared for Joey.

At the emergency vet they told me that Joey was simply suffering from a mild infect and that he will get better soon. The vet gave him two shots to make the throwing up stop and a cream that was supposed to make Joey crave food again, as he was severely dehydrated after having thrown up a couple of times. They also told me to call again if Joey hasn’t eaten anything before noon.

I managed to sleep for around 2-3 hours max, but woke up after hearing disturbing meows from Joey. He sounded awful. I tried bringing him fresh water and food, but he just kept lying in front of his litter box. I was terrified. When he started to breathe through his mouth I called the vet again and told him I am coming to the hospital again, as I cannot wait until noon. At this point I was crying again and anxious.

When I picked up Joey and put him into his carrier his body felt weak and almost lifeless. In my car I was scared and it only got worse when I noticed all the streets were closed off because there was a marathon in my entire city taking place. Crying hysterically I asked a police officer how to get to the pet clinic as soon as possible, as Maps kept redirecting me to streets that were closed off. It took me almost an hour instead of 15mins to get to the emergency vet. I can’t even describe how horrified I felt throughout this entire experience.

The vet was confused that Joey wasn’t getting better. He told me that it doesn’t seem like Joey has any pain in his stomach and he can’t really explain why the medication isn’t working. He then decided to do an x-ray just in case, even though I was pretty sure that Joey hadn’t swallowed anything toxic.

So I waited for the vet to bring back Joey. I waited for around 45 minutes and kept wondering what they were doing for such a long time. I assumed that since it took so long they must’ve found something in his stomach and are removing it. When the vet finally came back into the room I was sitting in, he told me that Joey’s breath hat simply stopped when he was on the operating table. The x-ray confirmed that his stomach was fine and he didn’t swallow anything.

I felt numb. I couldn’t say goodbye to my little baby boy. Typing this makes me tear up again and I feel so incredibly sad. The vet told me that he doesn’t really know why Joey passed away. His symptoms didn’t fit any of the criteria for any illnesses. He said maybe Joey’s after getting his last vaccination and after Cody arrived, all the stress led to a weakened immune system which eventually led to him dying from an infect. It is also very possible that there were genetic issues as my friend who also adopted a cat from the same breeder where I got Joey told me that their cat developed Asthma.

In the end we will never know what really caused his death.

I miss you my baby, I am so sorry that I couldn’t save you. I will regret it for the rest of my life.

Rest in peace, my angel.