9:44 AM
Calories: 209 kcal
Bank Account: -54,32 €
Fees to pay for downloading a movie I didn’t even watch: 915€
Reasons to keep on living: 0
Hours spent freaking out: 0
Hours spent feeling sorry for myself: 6 hours

I think most people would’ve killed themselves by now if they experienced half the stuff I have been through. Honestly, I feel like lately there are more bad things happening in my life than good ones. Don’t get me wrong, I do have a nice life and I appreciate everything I have. But I can’t help but compare myself to other people in my surrounding. Most of my friends do not have any money problems, they have a functional and loving family and everything seems to be going smoothly. Yes, I know, everyone has their own struggles and not everything is what it seems but hell, I doubt that anyone is experiencing shit on the same level as I have been experiencing it.

Yesterday I got a warning letter of this law firm for downloading Justice League illegally and they want me to pay a fee of 915€. Yeah. I know. I didn’t even watch the damn movie..
My mom contacted a lawyer and we’ll see how things turn out but honestly, I have no luck at all so my guess is that I will have to pay the whole amount – which is impossible for me as my balance is negative ATM and on top of that I will be getting even less money starting next month because my job is cutting everyone’s hours.

The funny thing is that I didn’t even cry at all. My theory is that after everything I’ve been through in my life, this is just another bullet on my long list of suffering. I feel like I have accepted my fate; the universe just didn’t want my life to be easy and smooth.

Other than that I still don’t have an internship. I’m waiting to hear back from several companies and it’s driving me crazy since I have a deadline to meet. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if I end up not getting an internship at all? Sounds like something that would definitely happen to me.

Calories: 636 kcal
Hours slept: 6 hours (kinda tired but it’s okay)
Hours spent cheering up my friend who was dumped: 2 hours

So yesterday my friend got dumped by this guy she was seeing. I’ve had a bad feeling about him ever since she first started to see him and – as always – I ended up being right. She brought this on herself since she ignored all the signs but I still feel so bad for her. I know what it’s like to be in this kind of situation and that at first it hurts like hell. I’m worried about her since she isn’t as strong as me when it comes to picking yourself up and moving on with your life. She is very lonely and doesn’t have much friends to rely on in her town. I thought about visiting her as soon as I get my pay-check.

So far my diet is going really well. I’m not starving and I am eating around 1,500 kcal max per day. I decided to start an Instagram where I post most of what I eat daily @fat.monicageller – if anyone’s interested.

The thing that’s worrying me is my bank account. My balance must be -50€ once again and I’ll be getting even less money next month. FML.