10:08 AM
Calories: 209 kcal (Oatmeal for breakfast is nice)
Weight: 1000000 kg (Apparently I have gained 6 kg the past 3 weeks)
Hours spent thinking about how much I hate not being naturally skinny: 1 Million

Honestly. What the fuck. In my desperate attempt to stop binge eating forever I stopped counting calories 3 weeks ago and ever since I have gained 6 kg. At this point I feel like I’m better off with just going back to counting, at least then I was at a somewhat healthy weight and not feeling like a whale. With summer approaching and me going on vacation in May I can’t deal with gaining even more since I feel like it would just hurt my mental well-being even more as I would compare myself to all the skinny women at the beach and loathe myself.

The hardest part of dieting is socialising. Everything either involves eating or drinking alcohol. I hate it.

And I hate that people actually encourage you to have an eating disorder.

Other than that I have to go to work later today. I don’t really feel like leaving the house.