I feel like a bad person saying this but I really regret befriending B. She is someone who gets stressed out very easily and annoys me with her clingy personality. I think B has a good heart, don’t get me wrong, so far she seems like a nice person. She helped me out a lot during exams and we talked on the phone very often. She also told me what’s been bothering her and I gave her advice.
But because of that B now asumes we are going to be best friends. Don’t get me wrong, I’m greatful for having met so many nice people in my university class. I just don’t see myself being best friends with someone like her. I’m not good with overly-sensitive people, especially not with ones that talk a lot. And by “a lot”, I mean 60mins long audio messages on WhatsApp. I still haven’t listened to those.
She messages me a lot and I don’t know how to react. I don’t want B to think that I’m just using her. You can’t force best-friendship, though, you know? I just think that you don’t need to be in permanent contact with people you usually see everyday and I really really enjoy silence. Sigh.
This must be one of the many struggles of an introverted person.
9 comments On Do you ever regret befriending someone?
Ahw danke, ich les deinen ja auch gern! Nur hatt ich in der letzten Zeit leider wenig Möglichkeit, das zu tun. q.q So Tagebucheinträge versuch ich dafür immer wieder, weil ich oft danach gefragt werde. Tja. So hat jeder iwie so seine Probleme. XD
Nö, sowas bereu ich nie. Ich… beende dann einfach die Freundschaft oder freunde mich gleich gar nicht an mit der oder dem… 8D
I feel your introverted struggles.
And we all want to be “good” people but I don’t think it makes you a bad person for not wanting to be her friend. Maybe try distancing yourself slowly? That or even just try talking to her! I’m sure if you explained yourself, she would be understanding.
But wow 60mins long audio messages on WhatsApp. That’s pretty crazy…
i went through a phase like this once too but i managed to overcome by setting boundaries. setting a boundary is something that i always tell myself to do, be it for people or things in general. now, when it comes to friendship, when i was in this phase, i made sure the other person knows that i’m not the friend she’s looking for. like, i understand that you never meant to be bad and i don’t think it’s bad to have personal preference. it’s just that you don’t click and it’s fine. i think she should know. i don’t mean to say you should instantly tell her in a “hey, i don’t like your clingy personality so go find another friend that can handle you better” because that’s kind of an asshole thing to do. i’d say start setting a boundary between you and her so that she can understand if you don’t have all the time in the world to hear her being clingy. does that make sense? i don’t think you want to verbally inflict pain on her either so i think the safest way is to set boundaries and limit your time communicating with her. at least that’s how i do it and the friend began to realize and distance began to form between us. if keeping a distance makes her go all out clingy to you (read: complaining about why you don’t listen to her anymore, for instance), THEN you can tell her up front that you do need time for yourself too and that you’re nobody’s nanny.
I regret befriending a lot of people, but after all I realized it’s an experience Maybe you should talk to her and explain to her all these things. Maybe she will understand that yo need your personal space. I went through something similar and I just told the person I need my space and now it’s good. We still talk occasionally but I don’t feel overwhelmed anymore.
I have before with a friend, well ex friend now that was selfish and tried to hurt me and use me all the time. You’re not a bad person for not wanting to be her friend, because she was toxic. Get rid of toxic friends and don’t feel guilty for it.
You deserve to put yourself first at times.
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Don’t feel bad. I know exactly what you mean.
I’m not a clingy person, I sometimes go months without texting my friends and then we meet up after a long while and act like we haven’t been apart. Those are the type of friends that work well with my personality. Because we both understand that we have lives and hobbies and sometimes there just isn’t time.
I previously had some friends that would get angry when I didn’t make time to hang out with them or if I didn’t text them back right away. -.- I don’t have the patience for that. So I continued distancing myself from them. It might be hard since you do see this person daily, but sometimes it’s best to be honest.
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