On the 25th of January I got my wisdom teeth removed and surprisingly, it wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be. I only ate soup for the first week but then I was able to eat normal stuff again pretty quickly (unfortunately, as I gained back all the weight and probably even more).

I met with my therapist again last week and she told me to start writing a food journal on what I’m eating and how I’m feeling before and after eating something. My bingeing has been getting worse and it’s pissing me off. Hopefully gyms can open up again soon – they just extended the lockdown until 7th of march here.

Last Friday I had a Tinder date. In fact, this was my first Tinder date since September, I think. I really wanted to get back into the game and to put myself out there again after getting my heart broken in December because I could feel myself getting more and more anxious about the thought of dating. Honestly, 2 minutes into the date I was already able to tell that I don’t feel attracted to this dude at all and that I just wanted to go home. I decided to push through and we went over to his place to order dinner. The entire time he kept talking about himself and I barely got a word out. When I told him that I want to head home, he wanted me to stay and sleep over (lmao as IF). God, you can’t imagine how much I was looking forward to listening to my Taylor Swift evermore + folklore playlist and not hear him talk anymore. The train ride home was so relaxing. Looking back I’d say pushing myself to put myself out there was the right decision, though. I got reminded that I’m not missing out on anything right now and I won’t be downloading any dating apps any time soon again. I even deactivated my IG (once again) because I want to be left alone.

On Valentine’s Day I went to visit my mom and of course, binged, but we had a nice time and enjoyed watching The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.